“I’m here, I’m listening.”

Today we acknowledge R U OK? Day and are reminded to check in with our friends and family who may be feeling the impact of life’s challenges.

The question R U OK? opens the doorway to a meaningful conversation and may allow someone to share authentically how they are travelling.

The focus for this year’s R U OK? Day is on genuine listening and letting people you care about know you’re here to really hear them. This sounds like a simple task and yet our many distractions and devices can make this very challenging.

This reminder to check in with each other is needed this year more than ever. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, anxiety and depression prevalence has increased by 25% globally (11 April 2023).

As we read through the scriptures it is clearly evident that Jesus knew the value of checking in with all those he loved and of enquiring further. When Jesus approached the blind man he asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?” Mark 10:51. Jesus didn’t presume anything. He asked and listened attentively. And from this listening Jesus was able to respond in a compassionate and healing way to the blind man.

At times, in our efforts to support others, we presume or anticipate what people may be feeling or needing and we are tentative about enquiring further. We do many actions to express our love, however, more often than not, people are hungering for face-to-face interactions and for a listening ear.

Dr Susan David, a psychologist and author suggests that there are three words that have the power to transform our relationships and conversations with others, and these words are, “Tell me more.” Susan David goes on to say that when we slow down and respond with intention, inviting someone to tell us more about a concern, we invoke curiosity, exploration, and compassion.

After asking the question R U OK?, there is an opportunity for us all to listen more deeply by opening the door.

“I’m here, I’m listening.”

“Is there something I can do for you?”

“Tell me more.”

All of these words provide a framework which allows a person to name more authentically and deeply the pain or struggle they are enduring.

Whilst we may all aspire to be supportive and attentive to others in their pain, it is not always an easy path. Our faith and prayer life can offer us important sustenance. In our times of prayer, we can hear that voice that says, “I’m here, I’m listening.” And in that experience of being heard and held in love, we are more able to sit with one another.

R U OK? is calling on all of us to let the people you care about know you're here, to really hear them. 

People commonly mentioned three things: 

• Trust: they need to know the person they speak to is someone they trust, and, for many, someone they are close to. 
• Authenticity: they want to know the person asking them genuinely wants to hear answer. 
• Environment: people prefer to have these conversations in a private space with enough time to share what they want to say.